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Shout out to Tari, Just a thought. - 09/30/2006
Let's see ... anger, denial, negotiation ... what were those other steps? Shock and acceptance, I think they were.

Having dealt with more than a few corporate types in my day, Tari, I can tell you that it is a mistake to follow anger with a conciliatory tone or an attempt to negotiate. They'll see it as a sign that you're caving in and this will only embolden them. From their point of view, it comes across as pleading. They'll deny that when asked, but their actions wil tell a different story than their words.

What you have to do is learn how to not give a rat's backside, take your anger and make it abstract. Yes, you're losing your work and yes, that's unfair and it stinks. I'm not saying forget that reality or start pretending that any of this was OK. What I'm suggesting is that you back burner this business and get a little detached. If Webring or Simplenet or one of that crowd wants your help or business and your memory of the incident is refreshed, you remember that they're not getting anything from you, and if enough people remember that, they're going to pay a real price. Maybe enough of a price to drop the value of their stock to the point at which somebody else will take them over.

If they come to their senses and see that this is insane, cool. We can work with that, though they should never see the same level of trust out of us again. If not? Think of the first law of relationships you learned back in high school - whoever cares the least is the one in control. Do you want to put them in control of the situation? Because by acting out a late stage of the grieving process, you're helping to create the perception that this is the case, and perception can easily become reality in such things. Considering where their stock prices will be without our sites, they can't regain control of this situation without our help, and I haven't seen any reason to give them that kind of gift yet. Have you? So why give them hope?

S**t happens. Let's not worry about it, too much. Oh, and BTW, for any mod listening in - I'm retaining a copy of this post for public record, just in case there are any more "quiet deletions".

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